My Last Blog - "Go With God"

….Well, at least for this trip, my last blog. Moments like this you feel like you should have something really profound to say. You feel like you should be so much more enlightened, so much smarter… but here’s the secret. I’m not. Not really.

But, it wasn’t enlightenment that I was pursuing.

What I was pursuing is the place in this world that was mine, for just that (a) moment. A special place reserved only for me. And that’s probably the pursuit I’ll have for the next phase, and the next, and the next.

I saw so much; experienced things beyond description; loved in ways I never did before. I saw so much that is true; so much that is false. And I pursue both. Gold and fool’s gold

I wish I could say that my adventure here was without bad choices. But it wasn’t. I can’t run from my faults. I can’t run from being human. So, for those of you that are looking for that person to put up on a hill and commend for outstanding performance, I respectfully withdraw my name from consideration. I only say by God’s grace…..

What did I learn? Maybe nothing new, maybe just reinforcement of things God has already shown. If I want to make a difference in this world, I have to give my heart to the cause. And sometimes giving my heart comes without choice or even noticing that my heart is being given away. But for the people I’ve met, I do leave part of my heart here. And for you that want to make a difference, I think you too must leave your heart where you want to make a difference. No heart, no difference it seems.

I will not forget the moment when my Mom hugged me as I was leaving Miami in August to come here. I had no clue what I was doing. No clue what was going to happen. Feeling so empty of those that I left behind. And, just beyond that door (I couldn’t see) was this amazing adventure waiting for me.

Mom’s last words as I left, through her tears and mine, “Go with God”. And as you read the words on a page I’m guessing the meaning and intensity is somewhat lost, but those words have stuck with me throughout this journey. And what better words. And what better testimony to God. That through it all, the good and bad, God was there. Correcting, supporting, inviting, protecting, loving, and even disciplining.

So, the journey was one of God I hope. Not me. Not by my invitation, but His. Not because of who I am, but inspite of who I am. And I hope that anyone He’s calling, they’ll understand that it truly takes nothing special. Actually, it’s the opposite. It takes the ordinary and insignificant for God to make special. And that’s exactly what happened. It was insignificant and ordinary, and God made it incredibly special and extraordinary.

I’m writing this last blog on this deserted beach with my laptop computer. It is possibly one of the most beautiful beaches you’d ever see. Truly almost perfect. Palm trees hanging over the water; gentle breeze; big waves crashing on the rock; white sand, a slight curve to the alcove. Long and beautiful sand. Streams of fresh water coming from the mountains to the sea. The sun setting in the distance. Impossible to completely describe. But it’s really here; places like this really do exist. And in case it’s hard to imagine, I happened to have my camera, so here are the pictures. (at the bottom of this blog) And who’s on this beach?? No one, except me. Only one soul. A spot reserved for this moment, just for me. To finish my blog. It’s a perfect ending to this journey. Perfect.

I want you to know that I so much appreciate you letters, comments, and prayers. And even those the words on this page seem distant, please know your names and words and emails came to mind many times during this journey. They were fresh water to my soul. I know I didn’t make this trip alone. I know there were many joining me in many ways. And thanks for taking the journey with me. It would not have been the same without you.

And thank you God for this journey. I pray we all honored you with this journey.