Things You Wish You’d Never Seen

I’m sure I’ve drank some nasty water in the past, but at least I didn’t know it was so nasty.

The new Center has a cistern, which is kinda a large concrete tank to store water. The water comes from the city, is pumped into the tank a couple of times a week, and from there, I then pump water to another tank on the roof top, thus having a gravity feed water system.

Well, the problem came when I decided to shine a flashlight into the cistern. This after using the water to cook with, brush my teeth, bath, wash dishes, etc. Everything really but drink straight. The flashlight revealed fish, no big deal. But what where the fish eating?? Dead cockroaches floating in the tank. And more light revealed all kinds of trash, wood, metal, and a ton of algae growing in the cistern. No wonder the fish are doing so well, and the cochroaches.

I’ve now changed my water usage habits. I still use it to shower; it’s either that, or no shower, and use it to wash clothes and dishes (what else can I do?). Not sure how clean the dishes are getting or if the water is doing more harm than good on them, but for the first time I can remember, I use bottled water to brush my teeth and purpose not to drink the water or cook with it.

The plans are to drain the cistern and scrub it down. Not exactly sure how. Perhaps hire a kid that’s small enough to fit inside the 12x12 inch opening. But, hopefully it will happen soon. I generally don’t get grossed out with stuff, but this is SO nasty.

If I had just never looked inside I would have been fine. Things you wish you’d never seen.

So Much, So Fast

Things are changing here so quickly, I can't keep up. And the things that changed yesterday are over shadowed by the things that happened today. And, I'm guessing tomorrow with be the same.

I went to a hearing today, for a child (14 years old) that has been taken from his mother because she'd tried to kill him a couple of times. His name is Kevin. If you've seen prior pictures, you've seen him in them. He's been active in this ministry long before I got here.

At this hearing for Kevin, (with Osvaldo) I was there just to advocate that the proper steps were to be taken to make sure he's placed with the right person (family, whatever). And, like a scene out of a movie, where you blink and something else happens, they are awarding me temporary custody of him! What just happened??!! Well, truth is, as a single man it's not appropriate for him to be here with me, so we're placing him (hopefully) temporarily with the children's home folks in Bobita. But, they don't know that as of yet. I hope the team in Bobita meant it when they said if we had an emergency we could place someone there temporarily. Well, I think this falls in that category.

Other significant events are also taking place, but there's a time and place for everything. And, we've got to get things in order. But, it has a major impact on my future plans. I could really use some counsel from some of you right now! Just keep us all in your prayers. It's changing fast around here.

I do plan to get to the other reader's digest topics, but so much so fast.

Blog Topics

Here's life as a Reader's Digest Story Content Page:

Where Has Norm Been???

What 3 Weeks of Rest in the USA Meant to Me
I’ve Moved; Our New Place is Almost Shiny and Almost New
My New Trailer; No Need for a Truck
I finally have semi-reliable electricity
I finally have high speed internet at my house; first time in my life
I Have a New Companion – Doberman Puppy Named Zoi
I’m Mugged
I Drink Swamp Water Daily with Fish, Cochroaches, and all the trimmings
My Old Housekeeper is New Again
If You Come to My Home in the DR, You might think you’re in America
I’m One Step from Starting a New House Project
I have a New Employee, William; Osvaldo has one foot out the door
My Almost New, Very Expensive, Motorcycle Develops a Damaged Piston Rod

If you Want to hear more, just let me know. How's that for brevity??

Rear View Mirror

I bought a car when I arrived in the DR in March, 2008. It came from Japan, a used 2000 Toyota Surf, kinda like a 4 Runner, only diesel fuel. And it came without a rear view mirror. No big deal; so the guy that sold the car to me said he’d get me one the next time he was in Santiago. He goes there about every week. Fast forward FIVE months. He finally got me the rear view mirror! So, for 5 months I’ve been driving in the crazy world of the DR without a rear view mirror. Always needing one; never having one. And, now that I have one, I forget to use it. There is a point to this story….

I’m back in the States for 3 weeks. And, I should be looking back on the last several weeks and months in the rear view mirror; evaluating what I did and didn’t do. Things have gone at such a different pace than I expected. Some things laboriously slow. Others lightening fast. But, I often failed to look back and learn the lessons that were pounding on my door. Like forgetting I had a rear view mirror. Forgetting to take the time to just ponder on the things around me. Forgetting to get the counsel I needed to process what I was experiencing and hearing. Trading the important for the apparent urgent.

This past week a small team from S Avenue came to visit. Tons of things happened. Some amazing things. And yet, in the midst of it, tragedy. I use the word in its literal form.

Anne Marie Soto has been an integral part of my former youth group, Dreambuilders; now a sophomore in college. She’s by far one of my closest friends from that time. She’s been with me to Haiti, and now came to the DR. But only 3 days into our trip, we got a call that her brother, Ruben, 16 years old, had been shot and killed by police while driving a stolen car. Jacynth Woodside and I were the ones that had to break the news to Annie. I did a horrible job. I was emotional when I told her that she needed to return home for a family emergency. And of course the term “family emergency” did not satisfy her need to know as she could read in my breaking voice it was bad news; so we had to tell her that her brother had been killed. She went into shock, to say the least. Fits of rage; denial; weeping; anger; bewilderment. I didn’t know what to do; what to say. As God would have it, Jacynth was there to help with the initial mental processing. It was so hard for Annie to get the news while in the DR; far from home; far from her family.

Despite the loss of Ruben, the week with the S Ave crew was great. Hot and tiring because of much work and even higher temperatures. But, in the end, it all went extremely well. We had two days of community events in the open air basketball court across from my apartment. We had done the same with my sisters group that visited 2 weeks prior; so we were expecting around 80 kids; like the time before. However, this time we had less volunteers, but more experience, so we thought we were prepared. Well, word had gotten out I guess. Because this time we have 220+ kids. We stopped counting at 220, but they didn’t stop coming! It was at best controlled chaos. We had a music concert and then played games; kids won tickets to purchase prices (in the theme of Chucky Cheese). Unbelievable. But we survived, and even thrived. And again learned a lot. And I hope and pray the kids got to know God a little better; and had a good time.

Part of last week was spent finalizing a purchase of a property. Yep, it looks like we’re actually going to purchase property. At the last minute, a guy, desperate to sell his colmado (store front with apartment above), offered us a price that seemed very good. So, I was rushing to meet with real estate agents and attorneys and our crew (Manna International) to get it all reviewed to insure a real opportunity. It’s not finalized yet, but perhaps this week, while I’m gone. I’m rating it about a 95% probability of sale now. Now the real work begins; finding people to help pay for it. Cost: around $100K.

And, I’ve moved. The landlord of my apartment started getting a little more anxious about the furniture in the apartment; the amount of water I was using; electricity I was using (fans on as much as possible!), and constant constant visitors. He was a good landlord but was honest to say that he had not anticipated the number of visitors to my house on a daily basis. I understood completely, so thought it best to find another place. Spent 3 weeks looking, and so far, the only option is the possible purchasing of the colmado (store front) with an apartment above it, for me to live. So, if the sale does not go through, I’ll be looking for something else when I get back.

Lastly my architect is trying to wrap up the initial plans for my house. I’m still not sure if I’m going to build. I want to, but financially things are getting much tighter for me. I’ve gotten bad news from many many of my anticipated revenue streams. So, I’m not sure I want to tie up my last chunk of money right now. But, at least the plans are nearly complete. That is another long story. Working with an architect that doesn’t speak English; and me speaking poor Spanish. Oh the stories I could tell! Another lesson in communication, or the lack there of.

So, between the visiting group, the purchase of the new property, the move out of my apartment, and the finalizing house plans all coming to a head last week, I was grateful to leave for a break.

So, what I really need to do is use my rear view mirror. I’ve got now less than 3 weeks. I hope I use the time wisely.

Visitors - It's a Good Thing

In some ways, things are getting more and more routine. And in some ways, they never will be. Visitors and an open house are the most routine of my days here. Some local, so not so local.

This past week, my sisters (Yuvonia and Wanda) and a family friend (Debbie Nickens from Melbourne c/c) came for a visit. Really my first USA visitors. It was so good to have them. I was trying to express to them that just the visiting was the special part. Not necessarily what we did, or what we saw, just having them here to validate me and the things I’m trying to do. And letting me know that I’m still semi-normal; no matter how weird I might get in this place. And what they saw was not a neat pretty thing. In some ways, we start over every day. In some ways, it seems we struggle with structure and direction far more that I did in the US. But, they were here to experience it, on the front end. For them to make a special trip, spend tons of money, and take the time to make this trip was sacrificial at many many levels. How great is that!

The crew from S Avenue comes in this next week. That would be 3 of the youth from my urban work there, Tyler, Annie, and Diondra. Plus my favorite friend and sister, Jacynth as the leader! Top top kids, or more like young adults. And it was always my dream from the beginning of the S Avenue work to have kids from that group to come to places like this and help others, and now, by God’s grace, that’s what they’re doing, for the 2nd year in a row. But, what makes this year different is that these kids are spending mostly their own money to come. Not cheap mind you. So what a great blessing to have them.

I move houses just before I leave. It turns out most of my work is right here, hosting in my house, day and night. Just last night, at 9:00PM some guys came by to ask if they could spend the night, hanging out with one another, praying (hopefully). I said sure, gave them a key, and went to bed. Places to just “hang out” around here are pretty uncommon so find the space to do that has been my struggle and search. But it has come down to finding a house versus the duplex apartment I’m in now, where the gang can be as loud as they want to be; come and go as they please (with some boundaries) and just feel welcome. Found some pretty neat options, but sealing a deal in the DR is much harder that it would appear. Communications and setting expectations about renting can be very very difficult. I hope to settle on a place this next 2 weeks.

And then, I’m headed to the USA for 3 weeks. Need to make some decisions about my house in Florida, and basically what I’m going to maintain (or not maintain) in the US. After a year here, I’m pretty much ready to continue to close down shop in the US. Which basically means get rid of more stuff there (house, cars, etc.). Would still like a place to land, perhaps a condo or something, but after a year of being here, I’m not even close to wanting to head back to the US permanently. Not sure where I’m headed but no plans, for now, to camp back toward the United States.

I am planting more roots here. I have purchased land and am planning to start building a home, probably in September when I come back. Land here kind of reminds me of the land I bought up in Canada. Much cheaper than what you’d pay in the States, with building lots right on the ocean front, or in Canada’s case, Lake Michigan. Nothing like that is affordable in the US. So, I’m kinda casting my bread on the water, or the ocean as it were, in the DR.

I must be mad. But, building is one thing I know. And so far, after prayer and counsel, I’m at peace with it. I know it will be incredibly hard, frustrating, and challenging, but hopefully the people I meet along the way and the experiences I will have will be positive. More hard lessons to learn. The irony is that while I’m no expert, with experience with houses in Palm Beach, I at least know a few rules about building near salt water. Funny how things prepare you for the future, even those you least expect. And, I hope at the end of the road, it will be an investment that can be profitable. Finding those in this economy is hard. Like all my houses, it will be for sale as soon as it’s complete. Not that I’m looking to sale it right away, but not looking to fall in love with it either. I may live in the house many years, or no years. Want to buy a house on the ocean front in the DR?

So back to the visitors…. If I do finish this house and if I don’t sell it right after it’s complete, I can highly recommend a good place to visit in the DR. Because it’s an investment, it won’t be small. Room for anyone that wants to come; not to mention quiet with amazing sunsets and ocean views. Here’s an open invitation. (and if you come before it’s finished, bring a hammer or a drill, or a screwdriver!)

Fill In the Blank

I can’t begin to describe the feeling of finally having a ______________. And it came with ____________________. Wow, what a blessing!!

For almost an entire day, I’ve not felt _________, or __________, or _______________. I’ve felt almost “normal”, for a day. But only for a day, I’m afraid. The battle is far from over.

I did not fully realize how I was/am someone who’s grown so accustom to ____________. And, how much my physical and mental energy seems to be based on this range of _____________. Within a certain range of “normalcy”, I seem to have more than a sufficient amount of mental and physical energy. But, after weeks and months and now almost a year of being outside of that range, I’m seeing the toll.

And want to hear something so incredibly expected but not? “I knew it was going to be hard, but I did not realize, until I got into this battle, how hard it was going to really be. If I had known ahead of time, I might have made a different choice. Feeling so much like a weakling. And I was even foolish enough to think that if I gave it up willingly, then it would not be a major battle.”

The volume of things I used to accomplish, I don’t. Energy I used to have, I don’t. Motivation I used to have, I don’t. The mental battles that rage. The knowledge of wanting to be thankful for what I do have; the tons of blessings I have. And yet the mental and physical pulling at the discomforts I’m in the middle of based on my prior abandoned life style. The life I willing/happily gave up (at the time). The desire for the discomfort of a lost life style not to win over.

So why the blanks in this blog? Because I think I’m human and certainly not alone. And all of us could say the same thing at one time or another in our lives. Perhaps not the exact same battle. But, when the things we’ve loved, valued, enjoyed, or just grown accustom to be are no longer there, a physical and mental battle ensues. Even if we choose to give them up. People who are gone from our lives; friendships lost. Jobs/careers that are gone. Money that is gone. Material blessings that are gone. Environments now very different. Goals never realized. A life that is gone. And the deeper the loss, the harder the battle, I think.

I think this battle is inevitable. Especially for me here. I think it’s a combination of spiritual, and mental, and physical. Like all battles. Probably like the battles you are having, or just got out of, or are about to go into.

I hope I’m found being thankful. I hope I’m found saying, “the Lord gives and the Lord takes away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” But I admit not always.

But for now, it’s a battle. I’d be lying if I said differently. But I don’t want a “I’m sorry” or sympathy, or anything like that. I guess I just want you to see me as human; no more no less. I’m finding that’s exactly what missionaries are.

Can you guess what the battle is (battles are)? What is (was or will be) yours?

(Yes, I did first write this without blanks, but then realized how unimportant the actual words in the blanks are.)

Building a Foundation

We’re in the middle of building this ever so fragile federation of young men who hope to become, one day, a real music group. My days are mostly filled with things surrounding this group and the “groupies” that have now surrounded them. No small group now. Most Friday nights we have between 20 and 30 people.

It’s not really my hope that they become a great musical group; that’s their hope. My hope is that we’re building a team of young Christians that will hopefully understand ministry and be able to minister at a level that can truly make a difference to those who are seeking, searching. People not so different from myself. But I don't want their ministry to be what you would normally associate with American churches. I'm continue to think we've really missed the boat. I believed it before I got to the DR; I believe it more now that I'm here.

In some ways they already are a music group; in some ways they may never be. They do get together and play music and sing, (every day last week at my house!) but what you might call singing is not quite what most of them do. It seems several are fairly unaware of the notes they can sing, and notes they can’t. It’s really funny at times. I’ll turn to the summer intern, Jacob, and we’ll ask one another, “do they NOT hear that.”. They can be as flat as a pancake, but they belt it out there like it’s pure and smooth. In some ways, it is pure and smooth; because it comes from their hearts. I believe they love the Lord and I believe they have great great hopes.

It’s hard to know how to deal with a group of young people whom you are growing close to, knowing that the hopes they have may never materialize. And, that’s true for so many in third world countries. No, these people are definitely not starving. They generally have food to eat but their lives are nothing like ours. No where near the choices and options we have. Rarely can they choose what school to go to; they can’t choose to travel; can’t choose to move to another town; can’t choose one job over another; can’t choose which of several career paths to take; can’t choose what hobbies to have. Can’t choose what to eat based on cabinets full of food. Can’t choose what clothes to wear based on closets full of clothes. Rarely do they get to choose, because rarely do they have a choice. The one job they may have, is the only job; the meager food they have is the only food; the clothes they have are…. Well, you get the picture.

So, I struggle with the clash between my world and theirs. Is mine better? Is theirs better? Should I hope they change to have more of my world? Should they hope that I change to have more of their world? This I do not know.

I do know that the things that exist in our worlds are the things that consume 80 or 90 percent of our energy. Like our jobs; our schooling, our hobbies, our dreams.

So, as much as they hope, which is the name of the group, hope is really all most of them have. Most of them have had very bad educations, even if they did finish high school. Public schools here in the Dominican are incredibly bad. Most of them will only get a job based on tourism in one form or another. Most of them will probably never be able to afford to buy a car, let alone a house. So, I see these kids (young adults) with futures that are very very limited. And in some ways (the American ways), it breaks my heart to think that most will never have any of the opportunities that I had, or you had (have). In some ways, I look at them and think that if they did have our opportunities, they’d probably make the same bad choices we (I) do. So, now that I have just a bit more of a glimpse into their lives, what truly do I offer them? What should I offer them?

I’ve been in most of their homes. Homes that are mostly shacks. Built very close to one another. Mostly houses that I can only best describe as homes you might have seen in the deep rural south back when all the jobs were agriculture and share cropping. I don’t know what the depression was like in the US, but I have a pretty good idea when walking through their neighborhoods.

The best picture I get of that life style is from my mom. She grew up very poor. But I rarely hear her speak of things she didn’t have. Most of the time, it was the stories of her family, her father in particular, that loved and made a home for her six sibling and her mom. A house full of love springing from her father. I’m sure it wasn’t easy being poor (realitive to American standards) but I’m also now more sure that poor is not a curse. Any more than being rich is a blessing. How you live, rich or poor, is the blessing.

So I’m getting closer to the heart of these guys, and it some ways it gets harder and harder. I can’t begin to know how to help; how to encourage; how to minister. I can’t take one step in their shoes.

Meet Willie. Willie really started the group. And takes his music seriously. Willie is 21. Willie saved probably at least 3 months of salary to buy a guitar and an electronic piano. The first instruments for the group. But, Willie also now has a very low paying job; only works about 3 hours a day selling trinkets to tourist in the countryside. And, dreams of a real music group. And Willie is a hugger. He hugs everyone; all the time. He’ll probably hug you if you come to visit. I’m especially fond of Willie.

Meet Esaul. Esaul is trying to finish high school by going to school at night. During the day, he works with his dad making iron fencing for windows, doors, gates, etc. Esaul plays the guitar; and plays it all the time. But, Esaul likely will work for his father for years to come. And will likely live with his parents for years to come, in a half finished home with interior walls made of cardboard. I’m especially fond of Esaul.

Meet Joelfry. Joelfry has a really sad but typical family story. Joelfry is about 18. Has rarely lived with either of his parents. Gets passed between relatives to live. Joelfry is the lead singer for now. He’s funny; loves to joke; loves to laugh. I don’t have a clue what will happen to Joelfry. He finished high school this year, with nowhere to go. No job; no money for more schooling. But I’m especially fond of Joelfry.

Meet Samuel. Samuel is the drummer. We just got the drums. It was like a dream come true for him. He’s always dreamed of playing the drums. We were afraid he couldn’t. Well, he can. Not sure where he learned, but he’s pretty good for not having access to a set of drums. And, when asked recently of a time he had a real connection with God, he got emotional and said it was when he was able to play the drums we had bought. I’m especially fond of Samuel.

It’s a real fragile group for many reasons. Maybe reasons I’ll go into later. But, for now, they guys are working hard to honor God with their music and their ministry. And, those that hear them are being blessed.

I hope this group can make it through the tough times ahead, and they will continue to have a reason to hope. I also hope that God shows me how to be a blessing in their lives and how I can share all that I’ve been blessed with, with them.

(For those of you who have read “The Shack”, you know why I’m especially fond of these guys; for those of you who haven’t read it; I recommend it. Thanks Rayburn.)